Brewdog: "the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths"
Brewdog has responded with typical insouciance after breaching the Portman Group’s alcohol marketing rules for its Dead Pony Club pale ale.
The bottle of the 3.8% abv beer featured tag lines including “drink fast, live fast” and “we believe faster is better”.
The Portman Group said it encouraged “anti-social behaviour and rapid drinking” and put out a bulletin instructing retailers not to stock it.
But James Watt, Brewdog’s co-founder, said: “I would like to issue a formal apology to the Portman Group for not giving a shit about today’s ruling. Indeed, we are sorry for never giving a shit about anything the Portman Group has to say, and treating all of its statements with callous indifference and nonchalance.
“Unfortunately, the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants. Their raison d’être is to provide a diversion for the true evils of this industry, perpetrated by the gigantic faceless brands that pay their wages. Blinkered by this soulless mission, they treat beer drinkers like brain dead zombies and vilify creativity and competition. Therefore, we have never given a second thought to any of the grubby newspeak they disseminate periodically.”
Henry Ashworth, chief executive of the Portman Group, said: “The Code rules do not exist to prevent humourous or innovative brand marketing but to make sure that humour is used responsibly. We urge producers to exercise due diligence and consult our code advisory team if they are in any doubt.”
But Watt said: “While the Portman Group lives out its days deliberating whether a joke on a bottle of beer is responsible or irresponsible use of humour, at Brewdog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults. I’m sure that makes Henry Ashworth cry a salty tear into his shatterproof tankard of Directors as he tries to enforce his futile and toothless little marketing code, but we couldn’t give a shit about that, either.
“We sincerely hope that the sarcasm of this message fits the Portman Group criteria of responsible use of humour.”